...So,
if you're the proud owner of any of this [infomercial] shit, if you're one of
those folks who thinks that you can really get a better haircut from a fucking
vacuum cleaner, then wait 'til you hear what I've got for you. It's an easy-to-follow,
3-step motivational system that will have you shedding pounds of politeness and
tons of tact in less than 14 days or your money back. It's called Dennis Miller's
Inner Asshole, and it works like this:
You'll start with my introductory
video "Some People Are Fucking Idiots". When you've mastered the simple rudimentaries
of that, it's now time for you to move on to my advanced video, "Everybody's A
Fucking Idiot". This will help you trash anybody you want, when you want. If you
act now, you receive absolutely free my new best-selling book "Fuck You And The
Horse You Rode In On". But wait--there's more!
I'll also include my audio tape
cassette, reel-to-reel, 8-track or microchip brain implant of 365 daily negations
called "Obviously, You've Mistaken Me For Somebody Who Vaguely Gives A Fuck About
You And Your Sad Little Life". So remember, that's "Some People Are Fucking Idiots",
"Everybody's A Fucking Idiot", "Fuck You And The Horse You Rode In On", and "Obviously,
You've Mistaken Me For Somebody Who Vaguely Gives A Fuck About You And Your Sad
Little Life", all for only $29.95--no, make that $39.95, and I'll throw in the
Pocket Motherfucker.
Of course, that's just my opinion;
I could be wrong.